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This was originally a thread in the jokes section, but it looks like not a lot of people are reading them. Trust me folks, some of these lawsuits are PRICELESS. And they all came from the same idiot. So do yourself a favor, spare 5 minutes from your busy day and read a couple of these. Trust me, it'll make your day a lot brighter to know that as bad you can mess things up, you'll never be as stupid as this guy Steve Bozell. Enjoy.

His first lawsuit was against the County of Riverside for false advertising since their Chamber of Commerce brochures did not inform him about their hot weather so he wanted to get reimbursed for his $800 a month air conditioning bill.

Steve is also suing a Civil War reenactment group because he did not know that the Confederates lost and that he would be killed in the reenactment. This was a cause of embarrassment to him in front of his family watching.

A lawsuit against the Parks and Recreation Department of the city of Riverside for putting a blue dye in their public pool that activated when one urinated in the pool. Steve was very embarrassed when he was caught urinating in the pool. As he left the pool after urinating, the blue evidence was everywhere. His whole family laughed at him.

That same pool is being sued by Bozell because they had dive sticks in the pool and he was doing cannon ball dives into the pool. He landed on a dive stick and it went into his ass. he stepped out of the pool to the laughter of all the people there as the dive stick flopped around in the crack of his ass.

After giving a standing ovation during the end credits of 'Pearl Harbor', Steve was embarrassed and infuriated to find out that the characters of the film were fictitious. Steve sued Universal Pictures for public humiliation.

The company who built Steve's jacuzzi is also being sued because his wife April learned that she could use the jets to get sexual pleasure. This incensed Steve as he felt his marriage was in danger since April had found someone or something better than him.

He is suing AAMCO because he got scared during one of their radio commercials with the BEEP BEEP. He lost control of his car and ran in to a bus.

Steve sued his neighbor one time for brandishing a shotgun at him. The neighbor was mad because he walked outside to find Steve hovering over and behind the neighbor's dog naked. Steve was mad that the dog was barking at him all the time and was using a technique to show the dog who was dominant. Steve thought the dog was 'trying to ridicule him.'

Steve sued his neighbor for taking video of him soiling his pants when he was scared to death on the golf course by a wandering coyote. He was particularly concerned when he saw a FEDEX truck pull up to his neighbor's to pick up the video for America's Funniest Home Videos.

He is suing the Corona library because he wanted to have a forum to explain that he was not gay which they all assumed that he was when he returned his wife's copy of The Bridges of Madison County. The librarian directed him to the gay section of the library and that made him cry.

Steve Bozell sued a boating buddy last summer for making fun of him and encouraging laughter from Steve's wife and son. It seems it had taken boating safety a little too seriously. When his buddy got up to 'dangerous speeds', Bozell got so scared he dove into the water screaming 'We're going down!' This happened several times that afternoon. It was later determined the boat was only going five miles per hour.

Shortly after Steve's mother's funeral, he sued the makers of the Furby toy. His daughter's Furby began to spout obscenities in the limo in which Bozell and his family were returning from the funeral. Steve figured that the Furby had chosen Steve's most vulnerable moment to taunt him. Amid the family's laughter, Steve wrestled with the Furby and tried to get it to shut up. He finally threw it out the car window.

A Chinese restaurant is being sued for failing to warn Steve that their fortune cookies have a paper fortune in each cookie. Steve nearly choked to death not knowing there was paper inside the fortune cookie.

He is suing Erin Brockovitch for having a spontaneous emission when looking at a poster of her. He fainted right after seeing the poster and was made fun of by the paramedics who treated him for saying that he would need a change of pants.

Bozell also wanted to sue Universal Studios in Los Angeles after he visited there on their special Halloween Fright Night. It seems that Steve soiled himself after a devil popped out and frightened him to death. All of his kids and their friends then made fun of him for the rest of the night.

Steve is suing his neighbor, Roy Hutchins, for making fun of him for buying all these cases of KY Jelly which he had bought in anticipation of being raped by Road Warriors after the chaos of Y2K.

With the onset of war in Afghanistan, Steve had to sue two friends and their wives. They came to his house for a dinner party with deep tans. Steve views their 'darkening up' as unpatriotic and frightening. In his lawsuit, Steve claims 'torturous interference with the ability to achieve rational thought', 'extreme emotional anguish by presenting the possibility of being Arabian' and 'profound mental rape for ridiculing and demeaning [steve].' He also wants tanning salons shut down during the war in Afghanistan. In a related incident, Steve was charged with domestic battery for inadvertantly hitting his wife while trying to wrestle cocoa butter away from her.

Steve Bozell had a problem at a security gate at Los Angeles Airport. He was wearing star shaped sunglasses, a hat with ostrich feathers, a pink bandanna (that belonged to Roy Rogers), a $2,000 pair of lambskin dress riders, boots with spurs on them. The spurs set off the metal detector. A guard gave Steve a hand pat down, Steve got an erection, Steve turned to the side and one of the security men said, 'My God, you look like you're in the Village People'. Steve panicked and ran for the bathroom, one of the security guards grabbed him, and Steve lost his mud. Of course, Delores Blasingme is suing for Steve again.

Steve Bosell says if you know Catholics or live around Catholics, you could be risk. Steve just found out that his neighbors the Hutchins were Catholic, and Steve contacted his attorney because he remember the last two times he's gone camping with Roy Hutchins, while sharing a tent, when he woke up in the morning, he was bleeding from his rectum, and he thinks Roy raped him. He also wants to sue Alta Deena dairy because maybe the cheese caused constipation which caused his rectal bleeding, hence they are responsible for product abuse because it made him bleed which made him think he was raped.

Steve was embarrassed at Albertson's after he was arrested for shoplifting. He was taking stuff because he had heard the ad that said that Albertson's was his store so he thought all the stuff was his stuff.

Before I unveil my bowl game picks for the year 2005, let me ramble on a bit about my track record. Prior to this bowl season, I�ve gotten 70% of all the point spreads in Yahoo College Football Pick�Em, which if you don�t understand the spread system, that percentage is ridiculously high. Also, perhaps my greatest feat in football prediction, last year when everyone was saying 34-31 Oklahoma or 27-24 USC, I went out and said 45-13 SC, just straight out. Of course I was ridiculed until they actually played the game, needless to say, I had a great time with Sooner fans. Anyways, without further ado, here are my bowl game predictions

SUN BOWL-UCLA (9-2) vs. Northwestern (7-4)
Analysis-Just a few weeks before the SC game, UCLA was riding high with an 8-0 record and two gimmes coming up against Arizona and Arizona State. Should they have won out and gone into the SC with high hopes and somehow brought down the Trojan monster, they�d be in AT LEAST a BCS game if not the National Championship. But the Bruins never seem to be able to finish the year strong. Northwestern on the other hand has been a pleasant surprise in the Big 10. But what I believe is the most important fact in here, is the only Pac-10 team they�ve played, they were blown out 55-21 against Arizona State University, whom the Bruins have already beaten. Northwestern doesn�t match up well against high-octane offense, of which the Bruins have one of the top in the nation. Drew Olson, the senior quarterback, has put up better stats than Matt Leinhart and Vince Young and is the top rated passer in the nation. Marsadies Lewis is the top tight end in the country and tailback Maurice Drew is comparable to Reggie Bush. Karl Dorrell has much to prove after the embarrassment at the hands of SC, the bruins will lay it all on the line in this game.
Prediction-55-35 UCLA

PEACH BOWL-Miami (9-2) vs. LSU (10-2)
Analysis-This is bar-none the second best bowl match-up next to SC-Texas. Both teams are very similar. Both have shown themselves to be able to win big games, both were ranked top 3 at one point, and both have suffocating defenses. However, the thing that separates LSU from Miami, is the SEC. LSU has faced what is probably the hardest schedule in their division. JaMarcus Russell has been one of the most productive offensive players in the SEC and has done so with the likes of Alabama, Auburn, and Georgia. The Hurricanes defense is just as strong, but they lack the offensive leader that the Tigers have. It will be a dogfight to say the least.
Prediction-17-13 LSU

COTTON BOWL-Texas Tech (9-2) vs. Alabama (9-2)
Analysis-The Red Raiders and the Crimson Tide are polar opposites. One has a loaded offense, the other the best defense in the country. The Red Raiders have earned their 9 wins against mediocre teams and have been blown out against the only top 10 team they�ve played, Texas. Alabama on the other hand suffered their only 2 losses against the likes of Auburn and LSU, whom they almost beat in OT. Their problem is scoring. But as proven in the Texas game, the Red Raiders will panic against a good defense, and they�ll face a GREAT one in Bama. Cody Hodges is known for ripping bad teams to shreds with his high-octane passing attack, but has never done much against a good team. That will stay the same in this game.
Prediction-24-6 Alabama

GATOR BOWL-Virginia Tech (10-2) vs. Louisville (9-2)
Analysis-It seems just yesterday that VaTech, led by QB extraordinaire Marcus Vick, were drawing serious talk of overtaking SC or Texas. But after a heartbreaking loss to the Hurricanes and a letdown against an average Florida State team, they were bumped out of a BCS game. However, that doesn�t diminish the fact that they have one of the best defenses in the ACC and the best quarterback in east United States. Louisville on the other hand has blown out mediocre teams and earned their top 25 ranking from running up the scores. The only good team they�ve faced is West Virginia, whom they lost to. This is a mismatch and will be exposed on national TV.
Prediction-42-13 Virginia Tech

CAPITAL ONE BOWL-Auburn (9-2) vs. Wisconsin (9-3)
Analysis-Wisconsin has gotten where they have one the shoulders of running back Brian Calhoun. He has more carries than any other back in the nation and has more rushing yards than any other. However, against one of the top defenses in Auburn, he will not be enough. Auburn has come back after losing 2 games early in the year and defeated Alabama in the Iron Bowl. This won�t be close.
Prediction-37-9 Auburn

FIESTA BOWL-Notre Dame (9-2) vs. Ohio State (9-2)
Analysis-Both of these teams are top-notch in every way. Both have had their losses coming against the top 3 teams in the nation;Texas, SC, and Penn State with the Irish blowing one against Michigan State in OT. Ohio State took Texas down to the wire but was no match against the Nittany Lions. However, they�ve won all the games they were supposed to win. Notre Dame has all the momentum in the world with their high-octane offense which should be ranked third only to USC and Texas. Brady Quinn was 4th in the Heisman running and running back Darius Walker provides a steady rushing attack to support Quinns passing. Ohio State has what could be said as �the poor man�s Vince Young� as their main offensive weapon- Troy Brown. The outcome of this game will be decided in the early minutes on whether the Buckeye defense decides to show up. Notre Dame has proven that they can play with the big boys, and probably should have beaten SC. Ohio State�s best effort of the year, against Texas, was simply not good enough. Notre Dame has more potential and a brilliant coach AND the favor of the nation.
Prediction-33-27 Notre Dame

SUGAR BOWL-Georgia (10-2) vs. West Virginia (10-1)
Analysis-Georgia has faced some of the toughest competition out there. It is definitely arguable that should DJ Shockley have stayed healthy, they would�ve gone undefeated in the toughest division in Division I football. Even without Shockley, this Georgia team took the Gators right down to the wire. The closest thing to Georgia that West Virginia had faced, was VaTech whom they lost to. They�ve played a schedule similar to that of Louisville and both have lost their only big games. Georgia will suffocate this team and DJ Shockley will run wild in this game.
Prediction-34-10 Georgia

ORANGE BOWL-Penn State (10-1) vs. Florida State (8-4)
Analysis-This has the makings of a blow-out. But then again, that�s what they said of the Seminole/Hokie game. Florida State was ranked top 10 for a while, but crumbled under the strength of their schedule. Penn State has distinguished itself from the pack and sits alone at #3 behind SC and Texas. Michael Robinson, the Nittany Lion QB, was 5th in the race for Heisman behind Bush, Young, Leinhart, and Quinn. Much can be and should be said of Florida State having the heart to came back against VaTech after a blowout against cross-town rival Florida, but in this case, heart will not be enough. The game might be close in the first half, but the Nittany Lions under coach of the year Joe Paterno will eventually run away with it.
Prediction- 45-21 Penn State

ROSE BOWL-USC (12-0) vs. Texas (12-0)
Analysis-At last, we come to the heavyweight match-up of the year. The two best teams in the nations representing the two biggest states in the nation with the top players in the nation will collide in a mammoth contest in Pasadena. As an avid Trojan fan myself, I will do the best I can to look at this game from an objective point of view. The Longhorns have proven themselves to be capable of winning the big games. Vince Young is as clutch a quarterback as there is. What I do believe is overlooked, is the fact that they gain much respect through running up scores on mediocre teams such as Colorado (a joke of a Big-12 championship game) and Rice. These games mean NOTHING. The fact that Texas can beat a bad team by 50 and USC only beat em by 20 makes NO DIFFERENCE. What does need to be looked at are the tough games that each two have played. Texas has Ohio State and Texas Tech, which can be argued is NOT a good team. SC has Oregon, Notre Dame, and UCLA. Both are capable of great performances in hostile territory which tells me that Mack Brown and Pete Carroll know how to prepare their teams for this game. One big negative against Texas is the manner in which Vince Young plays. Yes, he is a great player and would have won a Heisman any other year. But he gets his big plays when the pocket breaks down and he has to scramble for yards. That is when he is at his best. The USC defense, which by the way is massively overlooked (held UCLA to no TD�s for 3 quarters), plays conservatively. They�ll give up the 5 yard play or the 7 yard rush regularly. But they don�t give up the 80 yard run or the 30 yard pass. This is where I believe the game swings in SC�s favor. The hardest offenses SC has faced was ASU, Oregon, and Notre Dame. Notice anything familiar? All three have great SET PASSERS. Keller, Clemens, and Quinn are all pocket quarterbacks and all 3 have brought SC to the point of losing. Pete Carroll will gladly give up the quick pass and 4 yards to Young, but he�s a smart enough coach to know not to blitz every time. On the other side, you have the SC offense, the greatest ever assembled outside of the Four Horsemen 80 years ago in Notre Dame. Texas, like SC, plays a laid back defense. They don�t blitz much and adjusts to the offense. Problem here is, that is an impossibility. If you sit back and play according to the SC offense, you are a sitting duck. Mac Brown needs to figure out how to put some pressure on Leinhart and hope Bush has an off-day. With �complementary� players such as All-Americans Dwayne Jarrett and LenDale White, stopping the SC offense should not be the Longhorn�s first priority. In order to take this game, Texas needs to come into the game with a definite offensive plan rather than scrambling, and they need to hold on to the ball longer than SC does. That is when Young is at his strongest. Once they tire the SC defense out, there will be no stopping Young. How do they do that, simple--Jamaal Charles. Rush him early and rush him often. They might not get very many yards or much scoring, but to keep the SC offense off the field is to keep the SC offense out of rhythm. Otherwise, I don�t see a reason why SC won�t win the shootout based on sheer firepower.
Prediction- 45-42 USC